Steps to Forgiveness

For if you forgive Men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.  Matthew 6:15  

   How then do we forgive? We are to forgive others as our heavenly Father forgave us. Not only did he forgive us, he allowed his son to suffer and die upon the cross to purchase for us our forgiveness. No one is asking you to suffer on the cross for this sin you have committed. We are blessed to be living under the law of the New Testament and Old Testament laws and decrees don’t bind us when the new covenant (Jesus) enters in. Praise God!

   I find forgiveness to be a 3 step process:

1.  Name the person you are having a hard time forgiving. 

2.  Tell God that you are holding un forgiveness in your heart--out loud in words that make sense to YOU. God is able to handle you anger, frustration, hurt, etc. He's heard it all before.  

3.  Write down what is upsetting you on a piece of paper or in a journal. (Paper is better since you might want to burn it later--I have done this and it's wonderful to burn the list and ask God help you forget the whole thing). This is important since we need to have a visual reminder of what's wrong later--just in case we pick up this burden again and again...you know how we do that!

   Your written entry might look like this:  

What Happened       Prayer of Repentance(you repent)    Freely Offer Forgiveness  

Under EACH heading, please note exactly what the problem is and how you are going to repent (turn from anger, hurt, bitterness, whatever is the problem) and then write out a prayer of offering forgiveness to the person. 

Note from Sue:  I do not go to each person who has wronged me and have a "confrontation". I simply write all of the things down that are bothering me and I ask the LORD to intervene and help me to offer forgiveness to them through prayer. I do not necessarily want to expose myself to each person who has hurt me. Often it's not helpful to keep repeating the cycle that was hurtful in the first place!!!!! It's a divine mystery but a proven fact that when we pray for others, WE are changed. What a miracle this is! What a blessing we receive when we forgive others and then pray for them.  I know that this method works. I have had lots of opportunities to do this exercise in my life. All of them are successful. 

Sometimes you have to work through this more than one time. I filled an entire little spiral notebook with notes from one person in my life. It was so freeing to let go of the problems, anger, bitterness, hurt and just focus on praying through it. God will help you to do this but if you have someone you trust with your "stuff" you might get some help the first time. Let me know if you would like to me to walk through this with you. 

This exercise benefits your spirit and your relationship with the Lord. So many times, we are keeping ourselves from the Lord by harboring bitterness and anger. It's crucial that you take time to offer forgiveness and receive it, as well. Allow the Lord to cleanse your heart and renew your spirit. Practice forgiveness freely and often. I would encourage you to make a list of what's going on in your heart and offer forgiveness whenever it needed. 

"Suck it up" and other Euphanisms

As parents, we have always told our kids to, "suck it up" when things got tough. If they had an injury in sports, a hard test or something was going wrong. This wasn't a phrase I was familiar with until I met Les. Evidently it's an expression used on the football field, tennis court and during sports practices. Please tell me if it's something inappropriate (shout out to the parenting class folks)! 


As a believer in Jesus, I question the use of this expression. What exactly are we to tolerate as followers of Jesus? Are we to stand up for our faith when it would be easier to move on and forget it? Should we continue to expose ourselves and our children to people/situations/environments/groups/etc... that are harmful to their hearts? Does the bible tell us to tolerate those who's intent is harm and not good?


Here are a few scriptures that speak to me on this issue. First of all, the writer of Psalms tells us to, "guard our hearts as everything else flows from it." Psalm 4:23. To me, this clearly says that we are in charge of who/what has access to our hearts. We must choose to limit the things that bring us down and increase the things that build us up. What might bring us down? Inappropriate television shows, movies, music are a few things that come to mind. What about inappropriate people? I am thinking of those who would desire to harm you physically AND those who strive to harm you emotionally. Emotional harm is as long-lasting as physical harm; perhaps more so. There are many emotional wounds that take years to heal (and lots of therapy). 


The writer of James expresses this thought perfectly! Here's a portion that speaks volumes into my life:


¹⁹ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰ because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. ²¹Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
 ²² Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. ²³ Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror ²⁴ and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. ²⁵ But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. James 1: 19-25.


I highlighted the section about humbly accepting the word planted in me. God's word has been planted so deeply in my heart that I cannot merely listen to the word! I am called to do what the word says and called to continue in the freedom Christ provided for me. 


I wonder if by guarding my heart and humbly accepting the word planted in me I will overcome the trials of this life? I believe it with all my heart. Sometimes it's necessary to "suck it up" and sometimes it's necessary to stand on the word of God and refuse to be shaken. 

Heaven is a wonderful place...filled with glory and grace

Our citizenship is in heaven. We eagerly await a savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ. Phillipians 3:20
We are uncomfortable on earth because our place is in heaven. Jesus went there to prepare a place for us: for you and me. We look forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. 2Peter3:12-14 
  Heaven is a place where the Lord promises us there will be no pain, sickness, tears or sorrow. I don't know about you but I crave a place like this. Daily, I long for a place devoid of pain: physical pain, emotional pain, relational pain; all pain. Why do we strive so hard to make our lives free of pain? Do we realize that Jesus himself felt pain during his time on earth? He was betrayed, spit on, beaten, shunned and hung on a cross. I can't imagine anything more painful than knowing you're the son of God and going through the humiliation of being crucified. That puts my pain in perspective! 
  This is not my home forever--just for a time. This temporary home is full of sin, famine, war, greed and evil. All I have to do is turn on the news and I am immediately reminded of the difference between heaven and this earth. Today I read on Yahoo about a mother who video-taped herself doing meth and then killed her husband, children and committed suicide. That's horrible! I don't know the extent of her pain here on earth but I do know the One who does. 
  What will heaven be like? The bible says heaven is a place of rejoicing. Acts 2:2 tells us that a sound like a "blowing violent wind" came from heaven. This wind was the Holy spirit. Acts 7:55 reminds us that Jesus is in heaven. Phillipians 3:15 encourages us to "press on to our heavenly reward". I have a choice to make: I can cling to the promises of heaven or hold on to the "riches" of earth. It's my choice and I choose heaven. 


Heaven is a wonderful place. Full of Glory and grace and I wanna' see my savior's face. Heaven is a wonderful place! I wanna go there...

I need a little joy in my life this morning! Last night was a night of weeping and mourning...nothing catastrophic happened but there was definitely some drama. I know what you're thinking, a day in the life of any woman is full of drama. When you add three daughters who are becoming young women you up the chances of drama immensely! It was one of those nights: the night before a new beginning. I'm not referring to a huge change in our lives--good grief, it's not like we are doing a complete turn around or anything. No, we are not moving or changing jobs! The new beginning refers to a new semester of school and THIS mom's desire to have her girls in bed on time.


Sounds painless, doesn't it? Sounds like a pice of the proverbial cake. It might have been easier had I remembered that when you have a goal, it takes an objective to accomplish it (ala Sunday School lesson). I might have also reminded myself that no one likes for mom to hollar at them (I tried to say "hollared at" but luckily my grammar was corrected by this brainy computer of mine). In addition, I would be wise to keep the emotional fluctuations of a trio of young women (the girls) and one oldish woman (me) in mind when setting such a lofty goal. What was the goal, you may be asking yourself? My goal was to get the girls in bed by 10:30 pm on a school night. Good grief! It would've been easier to tie two cats together by the tail!!! I have never done this but I've heard it's challenging.


Yes, the girls were in bed by 10:30. No, they were not happy about it. If I had a "do over" or easy button, I definitely needed to push it last night. My heart was in the right place but my mouth got me in trouble (quit lol-ing those who know me well). My goal for tomorrow night is to give the girls advance warning that mom is going into "back to school mode." I came out of the blue and demanded that they shut down all electronics; shower; clean up their rooms; and charge lap tops IMMEDIATELY. What a departure this was from our Christmas break :)  We stayed up late, ate when we felt like it and enjoyed time off. It's back to the school schedule and this mom is praying for God to give me a softer voice and kinder words tonight. 


Help me remember the words of the Bible found in Psalms 30:5  
For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. Help me to use a soft voice and plenty of understanding with my girls. They are so tender and so easily bruised. Their hearts are tender. Give me a tender heart as I raise them up in Your word, Lord! 


Can you relate to this post? Have you ever blown it as a mom? I'd love to hear from you so that we can pray for one another. There is strength in prayer and two praying together can accomplish so much (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

Riding the Rollercoaster

Nothing in this world could have prepared me for the extreme joy and desperate heartache of having teenagers. It is like riding a roller coaster of emotions and I am the passenger. God is good to give me moments of joy and times when I feel that things are going well. Last night, we had an amazing time together just hanging out, watching TV and talking. I went to sleep praising Him for the blessing of my beautiful daughter.

This morning was a different story. After several attempts to remain positive, I found myself giving in to anger. She just wore me down with her sullenness, anger and lack of cooperation. Tears began to flow after I dropped her off (the slamming of the door was the final straw). How is it possible that a teenager can bring a grown woman to the point of tears? My goodness.

Praise God that his mercies are new every morning. In Lamentations 3:22 it says:
²² Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

The Lord reminds me that his love for me never changes. His grace and mercy are sufficient for me. I will wake in the morning with a new chance to be a source of grace in the lives of my children. Tomorrow is a new day.

Empty Eggs

The wonderful thing about Easter is that it's a holiday geared around the resurrection of God's son! What a great thing to celebrate! In church we talked about how the best egg is the "empty" egg. The Sunday school kids actually blew the stuff out of a real egg (my youngest convinced the teachers that blowing "hurt" her jaw and they blew hers out...hehe!) and got to bring home a perfectly good egg that was completely empty. Les told us that God rolled the stone away from the grave for US! Clearly, Jesus in his resurrection body could've walked right through that stone that had been rolled in front of the tomb! God chose to move the stone so that we could believe in him and see for ourselves the miracle of Easter morning. The tomb was empty: except for the neatly folded grave clothes that had been left behind. 

I have gotten in the habit of giving God the credit for the small miracles and the bigger ones. When I find that perfect parking spot I thank him; when my husband gets back and forth to the hospital to visit I thank him; when the girls get to church without fighting (!!!) I thank him, and the list goes on. I have always thanked him for the BIG stuff but it's great to thank him for the little stuff, too. It keeps me close to God when I am in constantly talking to him. I find that my days are just plain better when God and I tackle the day. I am thankful that he cares about my every thought... listens to my every prayer... and always has time for me. 

Singing for Freedom

There's a song by Run Kid Run that expresses how I feel most Sunday mornings. It's called "Singing for Freedom". 

I come to church with a to-do list a mile long. If I wrote it down, it would look something like this:

1. pick up entire house

2. wash breakfast dishes

3. finish laundry

4. take nap immediately after church

5. help someone with homework

6. cook a delicious, nutritious and speedy lunch for 5 or more to consume in 15 minutes or less

7. drive someone to basketball; cheerleading, or some youth group activity

etc....

I come into church expecting that I will have time to free myself from the agony of my busyness. Instead, my brain continues to labor over all the stuff I should be doing... I know you've felt like this at times in your life because all of us have. We waste time trying to manage our thoughts long enough to force ourselves into a relaxed state. Sounds crazy, doesn't it?

Here's a new idea. What if we went to church expecting to be blessed? to worship? to praise? to rest in Jesus? What would our lives resemble then? I believe we would resemble our Lord Jesus Christ. I want to be Jesus' representative on earth, not just another woman running around with a mile-long list of things to do. I crave the stillness and the silence of a heart focused on the Lord. 

Here's the link to the song: